How To Manage & Increase Your Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is a hugely important cornerstone of good mental health. The more highly you regard yourself, the easier you will find it to overcome various problems in your life. It also becomes simpler to maintain good relationships with the people in your life, and you are less likely to wallow in depression. Of course, it’s not always easy to increase your self-esteem, and it’s something that you have to work at in order to make it happen. But here are some things you might want to consider in order to manage and increase your own self-esteem more successfully.
Understanding Self-Esteem
First of all, it is helpful if you really understand what we mean when we say self-esteem, otherwise it is easy to get confused about it. In general, when people talk about self-esteem, they are talking about the way in which you view your own degree of self-worth. Self-esteem is all about being able to accept yourself with all your foibles and strengths - it’s not about becoming a perfect version of yourself. That important distinction is vital to consider if you hope to improve your own self-esteem.
You can tell if you have low self-esteem, because you will have beliefs about yourself which are negative and doubtful. You’re more likely to focus on your mistakes rather than your successes. If you feel this way, there is plenty that you can do to turn it around.
What Causes Low Self-Esteem?
With any personal change that you might care to make, it is easier to do so if you understand where it comes from in the first place. So where does low self-esteem usually come from, and how can you identify the specific causes in your own life?
More often than not, you will have had some kind of difficult childhood experiences which led to your low self-esteem, which might have included bullying, difficulty in the family, or having trouble at school. You might also have had some hard life events, such as the death of someone close to you. Then of course, there are certain personality traits and temperament types which lend themselves more readily to low self-esteem. Add to that a certain degree of stress, and more and more negative thinking patterns, and you have a perfect recipe for low self-worth.
All of that might sound extreme, and at first it can leave you feeling hopeless. But getting to the root of the problem is essential to overcoming it, and it is a good idea to try and understand your own causes as well as possible. You can do that by looking back, either in therapy or on your own if you feel capable, and thinking about your own life in these terms. Once you know your own causes, you are better equipped to deal with your low self-esteem - and start to increase it steadily over time.
Increasing Self-Esteem
Let’s look now at some of the major things you can do to help increase your self-esteem over time. Most of these will apply to most people - but if any of them do not, simply move on to the next one.
Do Something You Enjoy
If there is a particular hobby or skill you enjoy partaking in, doing it is a great way to boost your self-esteem. It makes you feel more capable and confident when you develop a skill, and it’s a good mental health booster in general, which itself helps to stop the negative cycle that often leads to and includes low self-esteem. It doesn’t matter what the task is, as long as it is something you truly enjoy doing.
Make Personal Changes That Matter To You
There might be a number of personal changes you can make which are particularly important to your sense of wellbeing. As we said earlier, the goal should not be to try to turn yourself into a better person, but all the same there might be one or two alterations you are keen to make. This is why people consider rhinoplasty and similar treatments, and one of the main reasons to think about dieting, should you need to. At a certain point, it’s just a way of showing yourself care and love.
Build Positive Relationships
Nobody is an island, and if you want to feel good about yourself, you are going to need to have many positive relationships in your life. Building good, strong relationships is all about hard work and dedication, but it’s something that pays off every time. You can spend more quality time with the people in your life, make an effort to be there for them, and share with them some of your internal story, if comfortable. All of that really does make a difference to how people see you, and therefore how you see yourself, and it’s important to make sure you're doing this.
Be Assertive
People often think of being assertive as a quality you either have or don’t have, but that’s not quite right. Actually, it’s a skill that can be learned, and there are many great reasons and benefits to learning it if you want to do so. For one thing, being more assertive will place you in a more socially powerful position, and there are few things more important for your sense of wellbeing than this. You will feel a lot better about yourself in no time if you do this.
In order to be more assertive, try these simple steps. First, be aware of what your body language is doing. You want to aim to be open and confident here. Secondly, be sure to express your true feelings. If you are upset, say so. Say no if you feel that a request is unreasonable. Tell people when you are in need of help and support. These things are an important part of assertion, and of being mentally well in general, and certainly help to boost your self-esteem.
If you can do those things, you are going to have higher self-esteem before too long.
