Defining My Curls
by Phumezwa Shezi (Durban, South Africa)
I have had my hair relaxed for as long as I could remember, the earliest memory being one of 5 years old. Due to the texture of my hair, and the type of relaxer that I was using, I would have the relaxer on my hair overnight so that it can thoroughly do it's work. It wasn't until late in my university years that the concept of being relaxer-free crossed my hair.
Having coarse hair meant that relaxing it was a tedious process for both my mom and I. I remember having it applied in the afternoon, going out to play with a head wrapped in plastic so that the relaxer would work effectively, sleeping with that wrapped head, and having my hair combed and washing off the relaxer in the morning. It went on like that up until I was 10-11 years old. I assume she got tired of that process, as she had to also do my 2 younger siblings hair too, and decided to ship me to a salon when my hair needed to be relaxed.
Relaxing at a salon was time efficient but costly, but it was worth the rand. I would have the relaxer applied, my hair combed then have my head under "the cooker". The first experiences weren't so lovely, and again, due to my hair type, I had to sit under it for an hour if not more- depending on who was doing my hair. That went on for a couple of years until mom decided to switch me to a relaxer that is more suitable for my hair type.
I think at this time I was in high school, so a change in relaxers couldn't have come at a better time. This was one worked even quicker than the previous one and there was no need to be under "the cooker ", unless I was getting my hair treated. This continued up until that concept I mentioned crossed my mind in 2017. At that time I had been curious of my hair and what would happen if I just stopped relaxing it. Not only was it was costly, as I was a self-funded student, but over the years relaxing had lightened the color of my hair, and I couldn't deal with the burn sores on my scalp after every appointment. I then decided to stop relaxing my hair in September 2017.
I had 2 options then, transitioning or the big chop- I opted for the former. That was a long and frustrating process, especially when it came to styling hair that was half-relaxed and half-afro. Eventually in 2018/2019, my hair was reborn. I had already done research on how to care for my hair, the type of products I would need, washing routines, protective hairstyles and the do's and don'ts for natural hair.
It took a while for me to embrace shrinkage and how limited the hairstyles could be at times. On top of that, I had to deal with un-welcomed and disrespectful remarks I received about my hair. Having natural hair isn't appreciated much by others and for some time I was made to feel regretful of the decision I made. Not forgetting how I was once told that my hair made me look rather poor and dull in appearance, and the frequent "do you love your hair like that?". The worst was being offered money to go relax my hair so I'd look like a "normal female" again.
With time, I have truly grown to love my natural hair. I've learned from my rookie mistakes and cannot wait to see it grow to it fullest and healthiest!
