How to Stop Caring What Other People Think
I used to be extremely self conscious about every one of my actions. I wouldn’t raise my hand in class; in fact, I’d freeze if I was ever called on. I’d make a joke and hours later, wonder if everyone around me thought I was annoying. Instead of trusting myself, I would trust people who had negative things to say about me behind my back or to my face—even when they were not true. And if I thought someone was judging me, I would do everything I could to change their impression.
Worrying about the opinions of others has always been something I’ve struggled with. When it became too heavy of a weight to shoulder, I looked in the mirror and asked myself: “why do you let other people affect you like this?”
Why did I want to actively oppose myself? Why was I letting myself believe things people said to me? I was so concerned about how other people would perceive me and whether or not they would approve of what they saw. I never stopped to consider what I think of myself. While it has taken me a long time and I still have setbacks, I have gradually stopped caring how others are going to think of me. Here are some things to think about if you want to stop caring about that, too:
Face the Truth
This came first for me. I had to face the reality of the situation: not everyone loves me, or is going to love me. It’s hard to accept that someone could dislike you when knowing little to nothing about you, or worse, be a “friend” and still make awful judgments about you. But the fact is that not everyone will like you, and they are entitled to their opinion. At the same time, you don’t owe them anything. I had to tell myself that I don’t have to change myself to fit anyone’s idea of what I should be.
Think About Where You’re Putting Your Energy
Often in the past, I was concerned about what strangers in a room thought of me. I’d almost put on an act, speaking and dressing in a way that just wasn’t me. Trying to be someone else became exhausting after a while. I pushed aspects of myself down in order to not get judged until I realized that I was only tiring myself out by being so caught up in projecting this false image of myself.
Ask Yourself: “What’s the Worst Possible Outcome?”
This might sound simple, but it really works! Whenever I felt the pressure of eyes on me or like I was being taken apart by everyone in a room, I asked myself: “what’s the worst that can happen?” This helped me overcome my stress of speaking to large groups of people and make the impression I wanted to. When you actually look at the worst (realistic) outcome, it becomes clear that it’s not as bad as it seems. And most of the time, I would be harder on myself than anyone else.
Focus on Your Support Network
It’s easy to say “I don’t care what people think,” but we often value the thoughts of the people closest to us. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is find a group of people who support and love the real you. The negative opinions of my “friends” in the past really took a toll on my mental health and how I viewed myself. It made me want to change to please these people, but those who genuinely care about you will be honest, while not being rude or hateful. They will always support you, and you can confide in them.
Understand Yourself
Being yourself takes bravery, but it can give you so much freedom. There’s nothing better than expressing yourself and being authentic. At the end of the day, what has really helped me is realizing that as long as I value and respect myself, it does not matter what other people think of me. If you like who you are and actively try to become the best version of yourself, why should it matter what random people say or think about you?
The best way to stop caring what other people think is to take a good look at how you view yourself and see that there is strength in being who you are, no matter what anyone may think. It’s taken some time, but I recognize my own worth now. I don’t need someone else to tell me whether or not I am good enough, even if some days I need a reminder from myself. Of course, it’s always a battle to be truly confident in yourself, but for the first time in my life I’m getting there.
