5 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Bad For Your Health
A healthy and positive relationship can be a real boost to your health and wellbeing. Two people that bond well and share a lot of love will encourage happiness in one another. Unfortunately, the opposite can also be true. It’s not unheard of for relationships to be bad for your health. The sad thing is that you don’t realize the damage your relationship is doing until it’s too late. This is because you’re so caught up in the relationship that you don’t notice the harm it could be causing your mental and physical health.
How do you know if you’re in a situation like this? We’re going to look at some of the telltale warning signs your relationship isn’t good for your health. Alongside this, you’ll also get some advice and tips on what to do. Sometimes, the only advice is to call things off and go your separate ways. However, there are a few instances where perhaps things can be brought back to a positive state, and your relationship thrives once more.
Let’s take a look at some of these signs:
You feel like you’re being controlled
A relationship involves two separate people. This is obvious, yet some people seem to forget this! It’s highly common for one of the people to be controlling over the other; they tell you what to wear, make all the decisions for you, etc. Needless to say, this is a key sign of an unhealthy relationship. No matter the intentions, your partner should never control anything about you. They should let you be yourself and make your own decisions at all times.
The instinctive thing to do in this situation is to leave. Why stay with someone who seems to control you or doesn’t give you your freedom? The only possible reason you should stay is if they’ve been doing this without realizing it. Some people can be controlling when really they think they’re protective. If you point this out to them and tell them how you feel, they might change their ways. If they do, you could have a happy relationship! If not, then it is definitely time to break up as you don’t deserve to have your life controlled by someone else. It’s very draining on your mental health, so get out as quickly as possible.
Your partner blames you for everything
When you make a mistake, you can expect to face the consequences. If you legitimately do something wrong and your partner calls you out on it, then that’s normal. However, things are different if they blame you for everything. Any tiny thing that goes wrong is always blamed on you. This is typically accompanied by angry outbursts that can be both physically and mentally damaging.
A partner that looks for any excuse to unleash their temper on you is not a good partner. This is a sign of a very toxic relationship, and you should leave as soon as you can. Sadly, many people stick around even if they’re getting blamed for everything, and their partner physically attacks them. Recognize this is not normal behavior, and there’s no reasoning with someone like this. Even if you’ve never been physically abused, it’s terrible for your mental wellbeing to live in a relationship where you constantly fear doing something wrong. When something bad happens, you cower away inside yourself, knowing that you’ll get the blame. Get out before it reaches a point where things get really abusive.
You encourage bad habits in one another
Often, two people can encourage good habits in one another. Being with someone can help you follow a healthy diet together, or stick to a fitness routine. This is a great example of a flourishing relationship where you bring out the best in each other. Sadly, things can go in the other direction as well - you can bring out bad habits that both of you follow.
The most common examples of this are drug or alcohol abuse. You may encourage each other to go out drinking or do drugs, which becomes a key part of your relationship. You start to associate seeing each other with doing these harmful things. Clearly, this is horrible for your physical and mental wellbeing. If you feel like you’re being forced to do these things, then that’s a slightly different issue. You can lump that in with the first point about a controlling partner. This issue is more to do with when both people agree to follow bad habits.
What should you do if your relationship is like this? It’s one of the hardest things to understand as there could still be so much love between you. The problem is that you’re stuck in this loop of doing drugs and following bad habits together. Instead of calling it off, attempt to get better together and see if things improve. There are things like couples inpatient drug rehab where the two of you can go and work on your problems together. It’s always good to acknowledge you both have a problem that seems to spark when you’re together. If you find a way to work through it, your relationship may be okay. If not, then it’s time to call it quits for the good of both of your health.
There’s a lack of trust
You should be able to trust your partner when they say they’re doing something or they’re out somewhere. Now, a lack of trust can be a huge toll on your mental health. When you have trust issues, you start to second-guess and assume everything. You create scenarios in your head where you imagine the worst possible thing and bring on a lot of anxiety.
Admittedly, this is a hard situation as your trust issues can actually stem from existing anxiety. If you suffer from anxiety, you often worry about things too much and take every tiny thing to mean something else. Your partner says they’re out with friends, and you instantly worry that they’re cheating on you. In this scenario, you’re creating a bad situation out of nothing. The only solution is to get treatment for your anxiety and work on calming those bad feelings you have.
Having said that, the main trust issues arise when your partner gives you reasons to be suspicious. Let’s say they block you from viewing their Instagram story or they’re very vague about what they’re doing on the weekend. Perhaps they freak out and turn off their phone whenever you come near them, or they go hours without talking to you without giving a reason why. In situations like this, your trust issues are justified! This is where it moves from your own anxiety to genuine trust problems that are ruining your mental state.
Talk to your friends about the situation and explain what your partners doing and see if they also find it suspicious. If they do, confront your partner and express your feelings. Their reactions determine your next steps. If they’re reassuring and make significant changes to help you feel at ease, it was probably just a case of them not realizing the harm they caused you. If they get overly defensive and refuse to talk about the situation, that’s a red flag. Don’t stay with someone you can’t trust, particularly if they’re committed to giving you no reason to trust them.
You’re not happy
Happiness is the bare minimum you should feel in a relationship. Does your partner make you smile and laugh? Do you have a good time together? Are you genuinely happy when you’re around them? If you don’t know how to answer these questions, that’s a sign there’s something amiss. You should be happy and content in your relationship, eager to see where it will take you. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Nevertheless, too many relationships go on when one or both people aren’t truly happy. This usually stems from one/both of you feeling like something is missing. Perhaps your relationship isn’t moving in the right direction and you don’t see a purpose to it? Maybe one of you pulls more weight than the other, and you start to wonder if it’s really worth it. When you’re unhappy in a relationship, it weighs down on your mental health. It’s easy to go inside yourself and feel depressed and down. This can lead to further health issues as you seek out ways to distract yourself from these feelings - like binge eating or doing drugs.
Again, this is a problem you and your partner need to tackle together. Sit down and talk about your feelings and say what you think. This is a great way to uncover differences you may have, which may decide the fate of your relationship. For example, one of you may feel like the other lacks ambition and is happy to just plod along doing the bare minimum. That’s not a trait you want in a partner, so you’ve been unhappy worrying about the future. Upon hearing this, your partner may realize they’ve become too content and need to buck their ideas up. In turn, you work together to improve your relationship. Alternatively, you may find that some differences can’t be rectified, meaning the relationship is better over.
It’s important to look for these warning signs of an unhealthy relationship as it can damage your wellbeing. Hopefully, you now know what to look out for and how to address these common situations.
