Accents and the Game of Assimilation

Studying abroad is wonderful. You get to go immerse yourself in a new culture, experience a whole new side of the world, and ‘Eat Pray Love’ to your heart’s content. But do it for the entirety of your undergraduate career and your perception of it might change just a little. And by little, I mean a lot. The skies don’t seem as blue, classes don’t seem as new, and most importantly, people don’t seem as nice as they did during orientation week. 

As an international student, one is already subjected to many stereotypes about their intellectual capabilities, economic standing, and even personality. Overcoming these preconceived notions to establish one’s own identity in a new environment is a struggle on its own, but throw in perceptions based on accents to the mix and this is only amplified. International students are often subjected to microaggressions within and beyond the realm of academia, and while some of these might seem harmless on a superficial level (such as the good old fashioned ‘but your English is so good!’), they are ultimately detrimental to the psychological state of these students.

Microaggressions can be defined as “daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slights and insults toward any group, particularly culturally marginalized groups.” These acts are often products of internalized sentiments unknown to the individual themselves. For example, once last year, one of my friends very politely let me know I had an Indian accent. She said, “Sneha, I’m sorry, but you have an accent.” What seems as an empathetic statement here, was in fact, everything but that. I always knew I had an accent, but this was the first time I was made to notice it, and that made a world of difference. From this point onwards, I became overly-conscious of every sentence I spoke. Every syllable was policed and scrutinized before it left my mouth. I could see, -but pretended not to notice- the amused stares thrown my way whenever I pronounced something differently. All of these microaggressions got to my head to the point where I stopped talking. I stopped participating in class, stopped being assertive, and most importantly, stopped having a voice of my own and an identity I was proud of.

It wasn’t until I went back home for the summer that I really thought about what had happened. Why is it that one finds the European exchange student’s accent incredibly sexy but cringes at the Asian student trying to articulate their thoughts? Where are these biases rooted?  

I had let my desperation to assimilate override my culture, my history, and everything that mattered to me. I am someone who is very proud of where I come from and how I was raised. Being embarrassed of my accent would translate to me being ashamed of the wonderful childhood that my parents gave me, which is the farthest thing from the truth. 

Now, I am done trying. I am done mispronouncing my name so it sits better in someone else’s mouth. I am happy with the way words roll off my tongue since it is unique to my identity. I’m finally at a good place place with myself and I’m proud of the work I put in. My anecdote would be incomplete, however, if I did not mention all of my non-international friends as well as the sisters in my sorority who were wonderful allies. It is my story, but I am incredibly grateful that they played a part in shaping it. Here’s to all of us finding our support systems, growing and being unapologetically ourselves!