How a Nurse Ignoring My Mother's Pain Could Have Affected My Life
It was approximately less than five years ago when I found out that I had a home birth instead of a hospital birth. I was shocked and intrigued as to why I hadn't been born in a hospital, especially since it was not as common in a country such as the United States.
When I asked my mother why I had been born in a house, she stated that it was a mistake and that it had not been done so purposely. She stated that after she had felt pain in her abdomen, she headed towards the hospital to begin labor. After examining my mother, a nurse had stated that my mother was not ‘ready to give birth’. Ultimately, my mother was discharged and sent back home.
Nearly one hour later, my mother felt immense pain and called the ambulance. The ambulance then arrived and helped my mother deliver her baby girl, me, 20 years ago.
After hearing this story over and over from my mother, I decided that it was very ‘cute’ that I had been born in a house.
However, I quickly realized the potential danger that the original nurse who discharged my mother could have caused both my mother and me. I realized this when I absorbed the reality of the situation. And the reality is, I should not have been born in a house. I should have been born in a hospital. I should have been born with caring doctors and nurses surrounding my mother making sure that everything went smoothly. My mother should not have been sent home when she said she was feeling pain. My mother and I should have been cared for. My mother and father should not have been dealing with the additional stress of calling an ambulance and timing their arrival.
What was a cute story could have quickly been fatal if the ambulance did not arrive quickly enough.
Essentially, the nurse ignoring my mother's legitimate pain could have fatally affected my life.
What if the ambulance had not arrived in time? What would my mother and father have done?
This could have been another case of maternal mortality. This is common as the United States has the highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world. More than 700 women die every year due to delivery complications.
With these facts, it seems that many doctors and nurses don't take the pain of women very seriously. And in the case of my mother, it did not help that she is a Black woman.
Black women are expected to be stronger than everyone else when in fact, they are just like every other woman on the planet. They hurt and most definitely feel pain.
If Serena Williams, a rich and famous Black woman, had a difficult time convincing her doctors that she felt pain and that something was wrong during her delivery, how can everyday Black women convince doctors of the same?
Why do Black women have to convince people into believing their pain?
Black women and mothers should not have to defend their pain. Black women and mothers should not have to advocate for the right to proper care and treatment. Black women and mothers should not be ignored nor dismissed when they announce that they are in pain.
We must stem away from the “Strong Black Woman” narrative. This horrible stereotype is causing Black Women to not receive their deserved medical attention. The racism and microaggression in the healthcare system start as just that- racism and microaggression. However, it can lead to fatality.
Because doctors and nurses may have preconceived notions of Black women, it can cause misjudgment in the analysis of their rightful healthcare. And that is not fair. Do not continue to put the lives of mothers and their babies at risk due to your ignorance. Please stop dismissing Black women and their pain.
The nurse that released my mother should have been aware. She should've taken my mother's pain seriously. Her mistake could have drastically changed the life of my mother and me for the worst.
