What Learning Bharatnatyam Actually Taught Me

For about 12 years, I would go to Bharatnatyam class every Thursday from 7 to 8 pm. Although I only went to class for an hour most weeks, it effected and completely changed every aspect of my life. And it continues to shape me even a year after I left.

Bharatnatyam is an ancient and classical Indian dance style which focuses on storytelling and mythology of Hinduism. For all 12 years, I had the same guru (teacher). Not only was she the only teacher at our dance school, but she was an incredible dancer herself. And as her students, we were expected to live up to her perfection. I’m the first to admit that it was tough. Bharatnatyam is more than a graceful artform-- it requires skill, precision, strength, and discipline. Growing up, a lot of the criticism I received in class was hard to take. Most of us received critiques about how we danced as well as personal critiques about our bodies, worth ethic, even our families at times.

It was difficult not to compare yourself to other girls and to motivate yourself. But from this struggle and insecurity, I learned that it’s much more productive to compete with yourself. My teacher always said there is more to be done, meaning you can always improve. Looking back, I quite enjoy this piece of advice and see that it actually promotes inward reflection instead of focusing on things you cannot control. The idea that I might always be improving, despite others’ actions is useful when it comes to mental health, growth, school, anything! Even if there are ups and downs, I think it’s important for anyone to ask themselves, in what ways am I better today than I was yesterday?

Aside from personal growth, Bharatnatyam taught me a lot of about my culture and heritage. Some my favorite classes as a kid were ones where we would all sit on the floor and only do the hand motions for each part of the song while our teacher told us the story the song was telling. I’ve never been very religious but I loved listening to old myths and imagining them as I danced. Not only did it give meaning to every gesture, but it also allowed me to learn a side of Hinduism I could never learn in school. In school, it was embarrassing to embrace any part of your culture.

But in dance class, we were accepted, even praised, for being extravagant in our expressions and knowing the meaning behind our steps. Before a big show, we’d have hours and hours of practice a day and all I remember now is this blur of girls running around in colorful costumes, makeup spilling onto the floor, music playing at a deafening volume, and unapologetic determination and respect for the bigger picture. When it was just us girls all together, it was a space where you could feel both beautiful and Indian.

I left my dance school after I graduated high school, as most girls do. It was strange to have such a huge chapter of my life close in just an instant but it left me with a lot to think about. Even after I had 12 years of training and learned three Indian dance styles, Bharatnatyam, Kuchipudi, and Mohiniyatam, I cannot call myself a dancer. In my mind, the bar for a dancer is much higher than anything I have reached so far. But I do know that I met some of the greatest people in my dance school, stuck with myself through the hardest of times, and learned more about my roots. Bharatnatyam taught me more lessons about myself than I’ve ever learned anywhere else and for that, I am eternally grateful.