How Moving Out of State For College Changed My Life

I still distinctly remember the kaleidoscope of emotions I felt in the days leading up to my first year of college just about a year ago: the nostalgia I felt when walking around in my hometown, knowing I wouldn’t be able to see any of the same familiar sights again for months; the heavy weight of dread and nervousness I felt at the thought of leaving my family behind for the first time; the bubbling anticipation I felt at being able to expand my horizons and meet people from all over the world. 

Before college, I had lived in one city for nearly my entire life — Louisville, Kentucky. And that meant that up until move-in day, my entire world had been just Louisville. All the friendships I’d formed, the special memories that I’d created, and the ideas and beliefs I held about the world around me were nearly all shaped by my life in that city. Louisville was a part of my identity.

As much as I loved Kentucky, though, I was also dreamy-eyed teenager who aspired to step out of my comfort zone and move out of state for college to see the rest of the world. However, when I actually committed to a university in Illinois--which was over five hours away from where I lived— I had no idea what I was signing up for. I had never been away from home for more than five days, and now I was going to be away for months at a time. I had no idea what to expect when I packed my bags and left behind the only world I’d ever known.

It wasn’t so bad at first. I went through all the motions that freshmen go through: meeting new people, doing all the orientation activities, attending my first classes, eating in the dining hall, and adjusting to dorm life. But in the midst of it, I was struggling immensely. It was more difficult for me to make friends than I’d expected, even though there were over 2,000 other freshmen to talk to. I felt miserable in my math and science courses, even though I was a biology major.  I struggled to adjust to the miserable, freezing Chicago temperatures, and wondered why I’d been crazy enough to move there when I knew I hated the cold. And worst of all, I had an extremely rocky relationship with my roommate; I felt unsafe, unwanted, and uneasy in my dorm room, the one space on campus that I thought I would have the most control over. Little by little, these experiences were chipping away at my self-confidence. Everything was going wrong, and I’d never felt more lost, hopeless, and out of control.

It’s no wonder that I was engulfed in a wave of homesickness. I dreamed about being in Louisville, chilling in the comfort of my own home and seeing my family face-to-face instead of through a phone screen. I reminisced hanging out with my high school friends and having a consistent social life. And by the end of fall quarter, I considered transferring to my local college, the safety school I’d scoffed at the thought of attending when I was a high school senior. 

However, as weeks passed by, I realized that moving back home wouldn’t solve my problems.  How would I know that I wouldn’t have most of the same exact experiences if I’d stayed at home? I thought I missed being at home--and I did--but even more so, I realized that I was missing the stability and sense of familiarity that it provided me,  and having all of it back would not magically solve my problems. I also began to understand that many of the unpleasant shocks that I was experiencing were helping me realize that I was learning a lot about growing up and life in general. Running away was not always the right solution.

Slowly, gradually, I began to embrace my college experience with open arms. I met more people, joined clubs, grew my confidence, etc., and my opinion of college took a positive turn.

For instance, by the end of the school year, I’d formed connections with people from all across America and even different countries. Hearing the interesting points of view on the topics we’d discussed during our conversations made me think in ways I’d never had to before, reflect on the multitude of experiences and backgrounds that influenced our viewpoints and identities, and broadened my worldview a considerable amount. And coming from a predominantly white area, I appreciated how I was able to meet people from diverse backgrounds and finally regularly interact with people of the same race as me.

In addition, I became more independent. I grew accustomed to navigating a college town that was completely unfamiliar, and I knew how to grab a coffee, get a haircut, or watch a movie within walking distance on my own. Before college, I never would have been able to do this. Since I couldn’t drive myself, I forced myself to learn how to use the public bus, call a taxi or Uber, and navigate the airport--all on my own. When I had the stomach flu, I made the decision to walk into the university’s health services on my own; when I didn’t know what to major in, I made the decision to schedule an appointment with a career counselor. I took responsibility for my own life instead of depending on others to help me or influence my decisions.

My adventurous spirit grew, as well. I experienced my first Broadway musical and my first music festival--opportunities I’d never thought of taking back in Kentucky. I wouldn’t have as much opportunity to grow into my bolder, independent self if I had stayed at home for college. 

Moving five hours away from home was more difficult than I’d anticipated. However, I learned how to be resilient and adapt to life transitions. Living without the comfort of home close by meant that I had no safety net; I took numerous risks, experienced successes and failures, and grew immensely as a person, in ways I’d never expected.  I learned how to take a depressing experience and let it bring color into my life instead. And looking back, I know I made the right decision.