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When I Becomes We: Keeping Your Independence

When I Becomes We: Keeping Your Independence

Are you cautious when it comes to relationships? Or, do you fall headlong and hopelessly in love? And what happens when the ‘honeymoon’ period ends? How do you navigate this new terrain of the long-term relationship? When I becomes we, how do you maintain your independence?

We read a lot about compromise when it comes to relationships. And this is vital if you’re not going to butt heads. There are two of your now, and it’s necessary to make certain concessions in order to live harmoniously. But how much is too much? How do you compromise but still retain your independence?

 

Be Your Own Person

Though you’re now part of a couple, you’re still your own person. You have your own thoughts, opinions, and interests, and it is important not to give those up. Do the things you’ve always done. Be clear on where you want the relationship to go and what you’re comfortable with.

 

You Don’t Have To Share Everything

One of the great things about being part of a couple is that you get to share things. You share your favorite places to eat, the films and music you like, and you get to be part of each other’s tribe. However, you don’t have to share everything. For example, you may have very different hobbies or your idea of a vacation may be very different to that of your partner’s. Though you can share many experiences, it’s important to keep hold of the things that mean a lot to you.

For instance, many couples choose to go on holiday separately. This means they get to go away and do their own thing. They miss each other when they’re apart, but with the knowledge they’re going back home again, they enjoy that time away. Some companies now offer singles holidays that are open to everyone. Many of their travelers are part of a couple but prefer to travel alone, and they can do so feeling safe and secure. And, you know what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

See Your Friends

In those heady days of an early relationship, there’s a temptation to spend every waking moment together. But that’s not always the healthiest option. Don’t forget that you have a whole other life outside of the one with your partner. Keep on seeing your friends and doing those things that you enjoy. Bring your partner along to meet them but have times when you just spend time with your friends.

 

Enjoy Your Own Hobbies And Interests

Those things that you loved before you met your partner don’t need to change. Whatever your hobbies and interests are, make sure you keep them up. Do the things you love to do and do them often. This will broaden your horizons, inspire you and make you happy. It will also affirm your independence. Being dependent on another person for your happiness is not a healthy position to be in. So make your own happiness.


Being part of a couple is wonderful, and romantic, and magical. Embrace it fully, but don’t lose yourself in the process. Be your own person and follow your own dreams. Just make a little space for someone else.

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