Making You Proud
Night-time conversations on the phone between me and my boyfriend usually follow the same pattern:
What’d you do today?
How was your workout?
Ask me a question.
The last part is my favorite. There are no rules, except it can’t be a lame question and you can only ask the same question back once per night. We ask silly questions (Would you rather I have rainbow hair or dressed obnoxiously everyday?) and serious questions (Has there ever been a time you considered breaking up with me?)
My favorite answer I got from my boyfriend was to my question of “What can I do that would make you most proud of me?” After a couple seconds, he said “self-actualize”. I appreciated and loved him so much in that moment. What would make him most proud would be me being satisfied and fulfilled in my life. How selfless, the most thoughtful answer he could provide.
He could have been proud of me overcoming my shyness, or learning to finally take things less seriously. It wasn’t those things, it was everything. He wished for me to overcome my shyness (or thrive despite it). He wished for me to take things less seriously (or be able live and laugh despite that), He would be proud to see me be anything and happy: the best I could be, or just average and still satisfied.
He didn’t say he had to be a part of that self-actualization. He thought only of me. He’s only ever wanted the best for me: he taught me how to rid myself of stress; he motivates me to improve my health; he fuels me with love and support. And that one-word answer to my question was one of the things I’ll cherish most in our relationship.
I really think it’s a rare find: someone who only wants the best for you, whatever it may be, regardless of whether or not that best includes them. But this is the kind of person I encourage others to seek. When someone only wants to see you be beautiful in every possible way, you have to believe it’s for a reason. I don’t think I truly loved myself until my boyfriend made me believe I was worth loving
He’s keeping me on that path to self-actualization, and I plan on keeping him with me on that path.
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