Should You Ever Change Yourself For Someone Else?

Be yourself – this is what we’re all told. People that change themselves for the sake of others are often depicted as having low self-worth. But what if the way you act is having a negative effect on relationship around you or stopping you from achieving your goals – should you just continue to be yourself and lose out?

Whether you’re thinking of changing for a partner, an employer, your friend or your family, here are some tips that could help you to make the right decision.

It’s okay to give up unhealthy habits

Bad habits are activities that are objectively unhealthy for you or everyone else around you. Smoking, drinking heavily, gambling, swearing, always being late and not keeping good personal hygiene are all bad habits. If someone you care about really wants you to give up a bad habit, it’s probably something you should consider. There are times when it can get complicated – being into video games could be a passion but it could also be an unhealthy addiction. To understand whether you’re causing damage with your habit, speak to other people you care about and see how they view your habit. If you’re clearly causing physical harm in any way or getting yourself in debt, these could be too clear signs that a habit is unhealthy.

Know the difference between personality traits and bad habits

You can’t always change your personality – this is something that is ingrained into you. You can work on not being so quiet around strangers, but you can’t force yourself to become an extrovert. This is important to consider if you’re researching how to get your ex back – by all means you should give up a bad habit to get them back, but don’t try to change your entire personality as it’s unlikely you’ll succeed. People that care about you will respect that this is who you are.

Don’t force yourself to like things just because other people like them

When it comes to hobbies and interests, it’s good open your mind to new things and respect others preferences. However, you shouldn’t let other people push you into doing things that you don’t like. This is important when it comes to being peer pressured by friend groups – whilst you may feel left out for not sharing a certain interest, you shouldn’t get involved just to fit in. This could include listening to music that you don’t like, getting involved in a sport that you don’t like or pretending to hold certain views.  

Change for yourself, not other people

Whilst other people may demand changes from you, any change should ultimately be for your own benefit. If your partner wants you to give up drinking, you too should have a desire to give up the booze. Sometimes you may have to make small compromises, but you should never have to make a change that you are not proud of.