Seven Simple Tips To Help You Handle Dating
Learn To Communicate
First of all, make sure that you’re communicating clearly with whoever you’re dating. If you’ve been together for a while then you might assume that not everything needs to be said and he should be able to pick up on your feelings without having to be given too much warning – but let’s face it, that simply isn’t likely to happen any time soon. He’s no mind reader and neither are you. You need to make sure that you’re clear about the way that you feel and that if you’re fighting, you need to tell him exactly why you’re upset and what he can do to help. The only way to clear things up is to be as open as possible.
Stay Sexually Healthy
In the world of dating, everyone has different views about sex – how long you should know each other before you jump into bed together, what exactly ‘normal’ sexual practise is, and so on. The truth is that there really are no rules when it comes to sex so long as it’s consensual and both partners are happy. If you want to have sex with someone on your first date, go for it – there’s no correlation between couples who wait to have sex and those who stay together for longer, and it isn’t a bad way to figure out whether or not the pair of you have a good spark. If you are having regular sex then you need to make sure that you go to the doctor regularly to get checked for sexually transmitted diseases – even if you’re on hormonal contraception you need to make sure that you use condoms at all times. Having chlamydia treatment might not be painful exactly, but you still won’t enjoy it!
Take Time Out
No matter how happy you are with whoever you’re dating, you need to make sure that you still spend a little time apart. Don’t ditch your friends just because your new relationship feels all shiny and exciting – your friends are the ones who will always be there for you if your relationship ends up not going as well as you’d like it to, so you need to make sure that you and your partner still spend time separately with the other people in your lives. Knowing who you are as one person alone is still vital in a relationship – the two of you aren’t two halves of one whole, you’re not any more perfect when you’re together than you are separately. Maintaining your own identity is crucial in a relationship.
Keep It Spicy
If you’ve been together for a while, then let’s face it: you might not be quite as sexually active as you were when you first met. After you have kids, many people find that the amount (and sometimes the quality!) of the sex they have goes downhill fast – you’re tired, you haven’t shaved your legs for months, and quite frankly you’d rather get a good night’s sleep. But it’s important to make sure that you continue to be intimate with your partner and show them how much you care. That doesn’t mean that you have to have a marathon sex session every night – but try to schedule nights when you can be intimate, and make sure that at other times you’re still as physically close as you always have been. Hold hands as you’re watching TV and make sure that you always kiss each other hello and goodbye – don’t take each other for granted.
Set Boundaries
In any relationship it’s important to set boundaries and for you to know what exactly you want from the person you’re with. Admittedly, no one ever ends up finding the person who’s absolutely ideal and perfect for them – that person just doesn’t really exist! But there are some things that you might find completely unacceptable in another person and even if you’re desperate to be in a relationship, you shouldn’t let your standards slide. Admittedly things like going out with a blond man instead of your usual dark-haired type really isn’t a big deal – but anything that sets off warning bells in your head like a man not liking your best friend, or making sexist, racist or homophobic remarks, or making disparaging comments about his mother? You need to trust your instincts, get out of there, and find someone who shares the same good values that you do.
Be Honest
It’s important to make sure that whoever you’re dating is aware of what you want from the relationship – whether you just want to go out casually or if you’re looking for someone to be with on a long term basis. There really isn’t any point in playing games with people – why bother waiting an extra few hours to text him back if you’re into him? If it’s going to work out, it’ll work out either way, and there’s no point in trying not to seem too keen. If you like him, you like him – let him know about it.
Sometimes He’s Just Not That Into You
At the end of the day, not every relationship will work out, and you need to remember that it’s not always going to be your fault. Sometimes you don’t meet at the right time of your lives, and sometimes it just doesn’t click completely between you, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. A lot of the time you might not feel that extra spark that you really need to fall in love, even if he’s perfectly nice in every other way – and there really isn’t any need for you to force it. Instead, have faith that you will absolutely find that spark with someone else one day. Likewise, he might simply not be feeling it – he might have a lot of work on, or he might have met someone else that he has that spark with, or he might simply not see you as the person he wants to spend his future with. Remember: that’s okay. It isn’t your fault. Not every relationship works out. Keep your head held high, and move on.