Helping A Loved One Through A Big Change In Their Life

If you know somebody who is going through something difficult, you might be at a loss as to how to help them. Whether they are grieving the loss of a loved one, going through physical illness or an emotional journey such as a divorce, your loved one will likely need your support in this troubling time. For many people, though, the pressure to take care of their loved one can give them anxiety and stress in themselves. This is an understandable reaction - if you see someone you love in pain and are powerless to stop it, it can cause you pain too!

In this blog you will find practical tips for helping a loved one to weather the storm. Let’s get started!

Offering Your Support Directly

The first, most important step to this process is directly offering support to this person. There is a difference between saying, ‘I’m always here when you need me!’ and ‘What do you need? Tell me what you need and I can make it happen.’ The former statement is a little open-ended, to which a vulnerable or exhausted person may not respond. However, the latter statement is a direct offer of practical support that gives that person permission to ask for something and lean on you.

Your support should be extended and then followed through. If you aren’t in a position to practically support somebody by, say, bringing some food over or giving them a ride somewhere, you can offer support in a different way. This could be something as simple as a phone call or helping them to fill in a form, for example. It is important that you offer direct support that you can actually deliver on. This person will need to be able to count on you!

Gifts and Offerings

If someone you love is grieving or experiencing a serious shift in their life, one way to show that you care could be to give gifts or make offerings of food, time spent together, car rides or something else practical. Offering these things might seem like a small gesture, but will make the world of difference when it comes to helping this person cope with whatever is going on!

Here are some ideas for gifts and/or offerings to make to a person you love who needs support.

Cook a meal and bring it over. When you are experiencing grief or illness, cooking for yourself can feel like an insurmountable task. Offering somebody an easily reheatable dish, such as a lasagne, can transform their day and help them cope.
Get them a gift you know they’ll love. Your offering doesn’t necessarily have to be practical, it can be aesthetic too! If the person loves knitting, perhaps get them some yarn - you get the picture.
Self care. Gifting somebody a face mask or some fancy soap can help them feel loved and supported, while giving them the opportunity to do some self care!

When To Give Advice (And When To Leave It Alone)

One of the most unhelpful things when you are in crisis, is somebody trying to give you unsolicited advice. If your loved one needs to vent and cry, allow them this, without feeling like you need to respond with some wisdom. Particularly if you can’t relate to what they are going through, any advice you give might just feel disingenuous. If you can relate to what they are experiencing, perhaps ask them if they want some advice. If they don’t, that’s cool - just leave it alone.

Instead of offering them advice when you can’t relate to their experience, try to think practically and point them in the right direction. For example, if you have a loved one with hearing loss who is finding this difficult both emotionally and physically, you could gently suggest they see a therapist or speak with their doctor. This avoids the subject of unsolicited advice while gently pushing them towards professionals who can actually help them.

Time Is The Best Healer

One of the truest clichés in the world is that time is the best healer. Your support for this person can tire you out, but remember that this is not forever. Whatever the situation, it will resolve eventually, and you will be able to relax your approach to the support you are offering. Part of being close to people is taking care of them when they need it; they would do the same for you. Mutual care is so important in this crazy world!

If you feel overwhelmed by the prospect of supporting someone through a hard time, use this guide to assuage your worries.