The Effects of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is a concept I’ve only recently learned about, but the way it pervades our society at both macro and micro levels is truly unbelievable. Let’s dive in with the question: what is toxic positivity? Toxic positivity is the excessive overgeneralization of happiness across all scenarios, which often leads to denial or invalidation of other emotions. Though you may not have heard the term before, you may have felt the effects of toxic positivity in your daily life.
This overly optimistic attitude can be detrimental, especially now, where COVID-19 has altered many lives for the worse. Yet, we are all expected to keep going as normal and to be positive even when it’s hard. Whether it’s our universities, our government, our friends and family, or even ourselves spreading this message, toxic positivity exists everywhere. And even worse, it’s easy to miss because we are so conditioned to it! Toxic positivity is disguised as motivational and encouraging when in reality, it’s pushing real feelings aside and shutting down meaningful and vulnerable conversations.
Let’s look at some examples. If you’ve ever gone to a friend after a long day looking to vent and they answer back with something along the lines of “That doesn’t sound so bad” or “Well, at least you got a good night’s sleep last night” or “Don’t put that negative energy out there, tomorrow will be better,” those are just a few instances of toxic positivity. On their own, these statements can be helpful, in that it can be reassuring to hear someone say “Everything will be okay.” But when these statements are being used to minimize pain and avoid having a tough conversation, it becomes dangerous. To be clear, it isn’t totally the friend’s fault either! I’ve been in that position many times. I wanted to make those around me feel happier as quickly as possible. Yet, toxic positivity often has the opposite effect, especially in the long run.
From a young age, we learn that being positive all the time is normal and that we should do our best to see the bright side of every situation. But, by doing so, we are spinning reality and altering the human experience. I also believe that calling out toxic positivity and actively removing it from one’s life can change the stigma around mental health. If we collectively stop seeing 24/7-positivity as ‘normal’ and begin normalizing any emotion a person feels, it can be a key to helping those with mental illnesses feel accepted and seen. If you’re interested in learning more, I highly recommend reading Brittany Wong’s Huff Post article ‘What is Toxic Positivity? Why It’s OK To Not Be OK Right Now.’
