The Truth Behind Self-Love: The Journey of Self-Relationships
You may have heard it before, how important it is to love yourself before you can love anyone else. But what no one tells you is how hard it is to do just that. It seems like a joke, you’re probably thinking, just how hard can it be? Well, the relationship you build with yourself can be the most straining relationship there is, but I will tell you this, though it will be hard, it is definitely worth it. You have to learn to get over the fear of what others have to say about you, because at the end of the day, you are the one person who will always be there to lift you through the hard times others can not. It’s not meant to be a hard truth to swallow, or to make you feel like you have to be this lonesome warrior fighting your battles alone. It’s a truth that many ignore, and instead search for validation from others to find self-love.
The first step to beginning this journey of self-love is going through a list of everything that makes you feel like you are less than what you are worth, and finding the opposite of it, finding a meaning of that something and turning it into a meaning that is more appraising. An example of this would be, if you felt like you are unattractive or in the most commonly used term, “ugly”, you could then find the things you love about yourself whether it be the smallest thing like the way you walk, or the way you speak, and even the way your mouth curls up when you smile at something funny. Honestly, this may sound cheesy, or even “stupid” but it really is the little things that you have to start from in order to get to the point where you can tell yourself you are that bad queen, or you are the man. Why should what others have to say about you define who you are as a person when you represent yourself? Others shouldn’t be able to take all that you are away from who you grew to be, and once loved. In being able to do all of this, you have to learn that your feelings are validated, and should never be looked at as a joke.
The next step is a process of learning to accept that the feelings you have are ok to have and should never be frowned upon. Your emotional state of mind is a part of learning to love yourself. How do you think you got to the point that you are either in, or getting into? Your emotions can become the enemy if you let it, and not only that, it can destroy your character, leading you yourself to become your own enemy. When it comes to your emotions, you have to learn what it is that is bringing down your self-love to the point that it is no longer love, but rather depression. Ask yourself what it is that is emotionally affecting you; is it the impossible expectations that social media wants you to meet, or are there things in your daily life that are depleting your sense of security? Whatever it may be, you are emotionally connected to it, and it is draining you. Take time for yourself to let go and find peace of mind. Find time to let your mind breathe, and release all that you have gone through. Let this be the time that you have finally opened yourself up to being able to accept what you are feeling, and build a more positive relationship with yourself. A truthful relationship that you can say has taught you to accept yourself emotionally without fault. Through learning to accept your emotions, you can learn to find optimism.
You may be thinking that it is impossible to stay optimistic when you’re fighting to find love within yourself. But being positive within will eventually begin to show outwardly. When I was finding myself and in search of self-love, one of the hardest things was staying positive. I used to feel like I was never going to love myself the way my family did. I didn’t hold myself to the value that I know I am now. I was down and didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. The moment I began to tell myself every morning in the bathroom mirror that I am a beautiful being, soul, and that I am mentally strong to take on whatever I face, my love began to grow within little by little. It won’t be immediate; it’s a journey that will take time and patience.
The journey of living a life with self-love doesn’t finish there; you have to learn to forgive yourself. There have been so many moments in our lives where we have hated ourselves for making the choices we make. It’s one thing to think about hating yourself, but not doing it, and it is another when you are constantly punishing yourself. In life, things happen. They won’t always be good things. Sometimes, these things are the push that tears us down. It’s unhealthy to hold grudges within yourself, and towards yourself, when you are the barrier that is withholding the self-healing from happening. The process of forgiving yourself, means to become ok with the choices made in life and accept that you are growing into the person you want to be.
To live a life of self-love is more than becoming one with your inner conscious, you are now entering a time in your life where you are accepting that you are your own enemy and your own best friend. You have to love yourself when there is no one else there to love you. The hard truth behind self-love is that it is all up to you whether you want to find that hidden spark of love meant only for you. No one can find it for you, as great as that would be. There are going to be rough times, no doubt, but it’s how you deal with it and manifest that optimism that will keep you on the right path. Make your choice wisely. There is love within you, open yourself up to it.