Why Discomfort is Your Greatest Ally
At first, discomfort looks like an enemy. I️t catches your weakness like a net does a fish and pulls it out of you, into the open. I️t also reveals things you may have been avoiding to show others. For years I struggled to share my opinion, in the fear that I️t would be challenged or worse, ridiculed. I didn’t have confidence in my voice because I never felt like anyone wanted to hear it. I would share how I felt if someone asked me, but otherwise, I would keep my thoughts, feelings, and reality to myself. I can honestly say that before the age of 28, that was my truth, but today, thanks to the discomfort I️ chose to give into by revealing my voice and opinion to those around me, I am finally able to stand in confidence around my friends, family, and co-workers.
For me, this realization did not happen overnight. Discomfort is a journey you go on. It has a beginning, middle, and end. If you had to think about something that brings you discomfort, where are you in that journey? Are you just realizing the discomfort that you feel or have you been in that place for some time, wondering if there will be an end? Think about some of the questions you may have about life right now that bring you discomfort. This could be questioning your place in your career or perhaps you can’t seem to shake an offense. Maybe you are comparing yourself to those around you, wondering when you’ll get to experience the joy you see them feeling.
Not being able to share my opinion in a confident way was not my only discomfort because it also meant overcoming a weakness. I imagined sharing my opinion and getting a funny look or being questioned, which meant I had to explain myself even more. I feared that if I shared my true self with someone and they disagreed, they would question our friendship or relationship and leave my life. Do any people pleasers out there relate? This insecurity trickled into other areas of my life like my relationship with my co-workers, how I made life decisions, or even how I reacted to dating. I used to look at comfort versus discomfort as two pillars standing on opposite sides of each other. I am either wholly comfortable, happy, and content, or I am standing, looking at those things from afar, sitting in discomfort wishing I could feel confident.
The truth is, we seldom experience discomfort and happiness together. One moment, our life reminds us of our weaknesses and the next, we believe we are overcoming them. This back & forth ignites movement; it propels us to act. Whether it’s by using our inner strength to push through pain or choose to do something brave and new to what we’re used to. A muscle is strengthened by an opposing force so the same can be said about the gains we can achieve by moving through discomfort one day at a time. I learned, discomfort is our greatest ally because it causes us to choose better for ourselves. By facing the choice to not settle, we elevate our self worth and can envision that thing, person, or experience that will help us get to happiness.
Facing my discomfort has been my greatest ally in this season of life because it has propelled me to act and move forward towards a better version of myself. I hope it does the same for you.