New Year, Same Me

It’s already 2018. Time has gone by so fast. Almost as fast as I can finish a bag of chips... which is pretty darn fast. I can still remember my New Year’s Resolutions from last year. They were the usual: “Lose Weight, glow up, finish a hundred books, and eventually become Hermione Granger with Beyonce’s body.” Every year, I swear to myself that I’ll do these things and that the next year when I look back, I’ll have all that I’ve desired. But I’ve come to the harsh realization that that kind of transformation cannot actually happen. But this year, I promised myself ONE MORE TIME that I would complete some of these things. This year, I was going to become a completely new me. 

Well… in a nutshell, I’ve given up. About two weeks into the new year and I just couldn’t keep up with the daily work outs, extra healthy eating, and speed reading every single day. I failed… and so soon! The moment of realizing my failure, I found myself eating a carne asada burrito with five tacos on the side. I guess my disappointment was written all over my face because my friend let out a deep sigh and patted me on my shoulder. There I was, feeling like a complete loser and feeling sorry for myself. I could just hear the annoying voice in my head whispering to me, “What’s the point anyway? You’re always going to be a potato.” As I took another bite out of my burrito, all the thoughts and motivation in my head quickly turned into mush. 

At that moment, I saw no hope in achieving my goals, but suddenly a word of advice changed my perspective…permanently. I can still hear my friend slowly telling me these exact words: “Why are you beating yourself up for failing? Failing is not actually failure. And just because you made a new list of New Years’ Resolutions does not mean that you have to complete all of them in the span of one year!” When I heard this, my ears popped, and I sat up straight. It wasn’t something I’ve thought about before. It’s not something we usually think about. For me, my goal was always to finish everything I put down on my list and see results by the end of the year. I stopped chewing for once in my life and took a long pause. 

She was right. I don’t have to see the perfect results in just one year. What really matters is if I made progress. The point is if I tried. And failing is really not actual failure. As cliché and corny as it sounds, we just need to get back up again. There are going to be much harder problems that we will have to face in life. My goal and probably many others’ may be the size of a rice grain, but what’s truly important is that we need to push ourselves, have grit, and know that we'll get there one step at a time. Another point to think about is that we are not alone in finishing the race to our goals. Everybody in this world is struggling. We are all in this working, striving grind. And honestly, life is really freaking hard. Keeping this in mind, I’ve learned to not beat myself up for getting down to a hundred pounds in just twelve months. Sometimes, food smells way too good to pass by, and sometimes the book you’re reading is too boring for your taste, and sometimes, you just got to treat yourself out! I may not have Beyonce’s body or Hermione Granger’s wondrous mind, but I’m going to get there in my own pace. I’m going to become the same me. The best me there ever was. 

CultureHannah KimComment