Why People Choose to Have No Friends
In the conversation about people's inability to make and maintaining friendships, something that remains neglected is the root of such behavior. The first thought, of course, is that one has overly high expectations. As the saying goes, having expectations is the mother of all disappointments. While that is true, there quite honestly needs to be a minimum threshold of what one should expect from the other person.
Love, acceptance, respect, encouragement; these and more are things we desire to have. As we mature, we realize that perfection is an illusion and that even the best of friends will have faults that we have to live with for life. Why then would someone still have no friends?
Too many moving parts
People who have no friends, or let the ones they have go, most are aware there is a problem on their part. Another thing they know is that there are too many moving parts that it becomes overwhelming. Anything from your personality, interests, temperament, past and communication style can be a hindrance to having your version of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Even your career in some cases is an issue. If your friends from university have high-end jobs and you buy frozen chicken in bulk to sell door to door, that can place you at a disadvantage.
It is therefore not one particular thing that makes one not have friends. If you are fortunate to have a few close ones, remember not to look down on the lone ranger in your network. Those who have no friends have been told to develop social skills, to smile more and do all sorts of things when it is not that simple. It is perhaps time we got to the heart of the issue instead of giving people textbook advice.
Getting to the root with therapy
Ultimately, a lack of friendships means that you are lonely. If you have no one to call to do things with, know a lot of people but cannot seem to connect or to meet new people is exhausting, then you are likely experiencing loneliness. This article explains quite well what all the reasons are, but the conclusion is what I advise everyone; go for therapy. If you have been stuck in that space for a long time, then it is an indication that you need help to move to another level. Through counseling, you can begin to uncover what aspects keep you stuck and how that came to be. In the uncovering of your past and current self, you will find freedom. It will be the freedom to remain alone but healthily or to venture out and make new friends.