The Silence is What is Killing Us
Conversations about rape culture started before the #MeToo movement, but it is in exposing how far up the chain it goes and about how many women get affected is what had more people, and men, talking. I have been following the conversation myself as a woman, and in the midst of excitement, an apprehension lingered about just how much would change.
Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a beautiful thing that women are speaking the same language across the globe, but much remains to be done. In my time of deep thinking I realized that while the women were vocal, only a few men got behind them. They approach it similarly to understanding that comes with explaining why people should consider getting opening skylights in their home. They acknowledge that a shift is essential, but nods are what ensues, not actions.
As I continued coming across content that speaks on the matter, one thing remained to be seen; men breaking the silence on rape culture. There have been talks of men talking about ending the rape culture, and though few, it is crucial to acknowledge that it is a step in the same direction. However, these conversations don’t appear to be carrying over to our daily life. That is the problem.
Men around us are still silent.
I can’t pin it down to what it is. It could be shell shock from the stories that we women share about their experiences or what it means for them as men, but all the same, silence persists. That occurred to me because there is always a recurring theme in all gatherings, the one guy who’s still demeaning women and the mane around them not rising to correct him. Those around them will laugh and brush it off, but nothing more will be said in defense of the woman’s who’s character is getting assassinated.
What we need as women are that men end the silence. When talking to them, they agree that who women get treated is wrong, but it is the silence that lets the men within their circle that what they are doing is okay. I recently came across a video of a man assaulting his wife in public. The person taking the video and several voices urged him on, until he kicked the women on the head, rendering her unconscious. This scenario continues in various cultures all over the world in varying degrees, but it persists, and it is perhaps one of the greatest reasons why the shift will be slow.
Men need to speak up in defense of other women even in their absence and let their brother, friends, uncles and even fathers that there needs to be a shift. As a woman I cannot understand the price a man would have to pay, but the lives of their (future) wives, daughters and nieces are riding on the choice they’ll make.