More Than Memory: Commemorating A Loved One So Long After Their Death
Sometimes it can be as raw as the day they left you. When a loved one passes away, we get back to some semblance of normality, but things never will be the same. You may have them in your thoughts a lot of the time, but you can get a feeling of concern when getting back to normality after some time has passed. We can feel worried that we are forgetting about them in some way. Because they were so integral to our existence before, but we couldn't imagine our lives without them, but once you actively get back to normality, this could mean you feel like you have forgotten about them in some way. While you know deep down that you'll never forget them, the fact that you are carrying on is something that has to be done, but you might feel guilty that you are doing so without them. This is why celebrating the life of a loved one in some way is something you can do on a regular basis. What ways can you do this?
Anniversaries are always a difficult time when your loved one has passed, and as time goes on, you will find your own little way of celebrating their life. You could go to their resting place, and put flowers down, but you may want to do something a bit more substantial. Of course, it is entirely up to you, but when you are marking their memory, you are celebrating their life, not their death. You could take inspiration from different cultures and do something different, but still commemorate the person. On the other hand, you may feel that it's such a difficult date to get past, every time an anniversary comes and goes, may mean you want to do something away from the norm. For example, writing your thoughts and memories of them, or even a letter to them isn't just a great way of remembering the person, it can be very therapeutic.
You might not be a particularly religious person, but sometimes there can be solace in prayer, and if you take the opportunity for your loved one to be remembered in prayer, this can prove to be quite a cleansing experience. Ultimately, it depends on the person, and while standard rituals in the western world usually dictate a moment of prayer, this may not be what they want, but you may have found, since their death, a sense of enlightenment and turning to religion provided an outlet for you. On the other hand, you can remember them in a manner that they would see fit. If they were a supreme party animal, then surely this is the way to celebrate them and their outlook!
Remembering them can be a very personal thing, and if you are worried that as the years go by, you are getting by without them okay, this is how life works. As the years go on, you can be concerned in some way that you are forgetting them, but this isn't the right mindset to be in. Ultimately, celebrating someone's life should be a positive thing, and if they are in your thoughts constantly, that is absolutely fine, but if you want to commemorate their anniversary, it's important to do it in a way that you see fit.