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Picking Up The Pieces: How To Cope When Someone’s Cheated

Picking Up The Pieces: How To Cope When Someone’s Cheated

It’s never easy to confess to your suspicious, or worse unsuspecting husband, wife or partner that you’ve cheated and it’s even harder to hear that the person you’re completely in love with, have children with or have been in a relationship with for years has been unfaithful. For some cheating is defined as looking at adult videos, or images while for others, a long hug or kiss is unacceptable while many believe that they’ve only been unfaithful if they are fully intimate with another person other than their partner. We can’t tell you what you should do, but these steps may help you take back control when it feels like everything is falling apart.


Figure Out The Facts

Whether you’ve been suspicious of their behaviour for some time, or rumours have been going around that they’re seeing someone else when it's confirmed by your partner it’ll still hurt as much as if you had no idea what was going on. Some women and men hear the ‘truth’ from well-meaning family, friends and co-workers but no one can give you all the facts other than the person who’s cheated. However, it’s important you don’t jump to conclusions and accuse your partner without reason, just because he’s worked late all this week doesn’t mean anything is happening. Listen to your gut and if things feel ‘not quite right’ then try to collect as much information as you can.
 

Speak To Your Partner ASAP

This may be one of the most heart-wrenching conversations of your entire marriage, but it needs to discussed. Set aside time, you don’t want to rush this, and make sure the two of you have eaten, aren’t out for the evening and are in a calm, sober and rational mood. We know it may be tempting to pour yourself a glass of wine or two, but you need to keep a clear head and not let any alcohol cloud your judgement. Plan what you wish to say, using a sheet of bullet points if necessary and try not to shout, scream or cry. Explain to your partner that you think they’re having an affair, listing the reasons why you think so and then let them talk. Be aware that they may be angry, sad, or even defensive but no matter what impress upon them how important it is that you both talk.
 

Head To Couples Therapy

A relationship therapist will act as a neutral, unbiased and observant third party that will allow you and your partner to express what you’re feeling in a constructive way. Previous client testimonials say we booked a session for a couples therapy with John Arber and good professionals will be able to get to the root of your problems, give the two of you homework or tasks to complete and help you to decide if your marriage is worth saving. Not everyone can forgive cheating, so it’s vital that you listen to your instincts when you’re deciding whether to move forward together. Can you rebuild that broken trust and become a better couple? If not, then a separation or divorce may be inevitable.

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