Dealing With Divorce
Divorce is a difficult transitional period for anyone. However, it is unfortunately common these days for marriage to end in divorce. When you are going through such a time in your life, it can be difficult to know where to turn to or who to trust. Friends can prove to be particularly useful at these times. This is particularly true if you and your spouse are even finding it difficult to talk to one another. Divorce should only be considered as an absolute last resort, of course. But once you have both decided that divorce is the best option, where do you go from there? From that moment, to the process of divorce itself, and beyond - the whole path can be fraught with difficulties. There is help at hand, however. If you are going through a divorce at the moment, take solace in the fact that you are not alone. Many people have experienced what you are experiencing and there is plenty of help available. Let’s look through some of the things you and your spouse can do to make the whole process a lot easier.
It is important that you recognise each other’s feelings as completely valid regardless of what they are. Too many couples fail to do this, and the results can be disastrous. Even if you are on your way towards divorce and you feel there is nothing left to lose, it’s important to respect one another. It’s normal (and healthy) to feel sad, angry exhausted, and all the rest of it. So don’t deny each other, or yourselves, these vital, normal human emotions. These feelings are likely to be intense, so prepare for the other person to snap. See it all as a necessary part of a process.
It might also benefit the both of you to seek some external help. This can take the form of a friend, a counsellor, or a family law specialist. Having an extra pair of eyes to look at the situation can be a huge benefit to you both. Not to mention that, with the mediation of someone else, you can have a space in which to express yourselves. This is important, no matter what is happening in the relationship or how you are both feeling about the future. Remember: there is no shame in seeking help.
You might benefit, too, from giving yourself (and each other) a break. This might include taking time off work to get away from things. Often, one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves is to give ourselves the space to consider a problem afresh. It is likely that you will return to the situation with a fresh perspective. This, in turn, will help to keep a check on those emotional outbursts, and help you to respect the other’s opinions.
The most important thing is to take it slow and easy, and remember that there is always help available if you need it. Divorce is an unfortunate thing to have to go through, but there is no reason you can’t make it out the other side, both better off because of it.