Making The Move To Leave Him - What You Need To Know
Relationships have their ups and downs. Personalities grow and change. And your love for your partner can simply drain away. But there are times when your partner is simply not the best person for you to be around. And if you ever fear for your personal safety it’s time to get out. Of course, many relationships break down. A few might be built back up again. But if you’re ready to make the move to leave him, here are just a few of the things you need to know about first:
Emotions - Announcing your decision to formally walk away from the relationship is going to stir up some very strong emotions. If you can’t trust your partner to control himself, then ask someone else to be there. It’s normal and natural to cry, to get angry, and to beg for forgiveness. It isn’t normal or acceptable to vent that anger physically or make threats that frighten you. If you’re worried, speak to someone you trust that can support you. And don’t be surprised if your own emotions burst out too. This is a big move.
Somewhere To Go - Although you may feel like you’re sneaking around behind your partner’s back or keeping secrets, you need a place set up and ready for you to move to. It might be a parent’s house. Maybe you’ve got a new apartment somewhere. You don’t have to tell your partner where you’re going, but it can sometimes be helpful. After all, you can’t move everything you own out in one go on your own. If there are kids involved, your partner will have a legal right to access until a court decides otherwise. It’s not a good move to hide them away as it may go against you in later custody hearings.
Children - Your kids will be devastated by the split. There is nothing you can do to stop that. They are simply too young to understand adult relationships like the one you have with your partner. However, there are plenty of things you can do to soften the blow. Stay friends with your ex, and always be polite to them. Never bad-mouth the children’s other parent. Would you stand for someone talking badly about your mom or dad? You have a chance to build a new chapter in all of your lives, so make it a positive one.
Divorce - If you were legally married to your partner, you will need a legal divorce to be able to move on with your life. It’s common for couples to disagree about shares, ownership, and custody which is why so many people use Divorce Mediators to settle. It also saves you from endless unhealthy arguments and extensive legal fees. No divorce is every truly amicable, but you can walk away from your relationship relatively unscathed if you approach it in a healthy way.
Ending a long term relationship might be the hardest thing you have ever had to do. But when it is right for you, or essential for your well-being, you can move on and start afresh. Don’t be afraid to plan your move, or to ask for support if you need it.