Call Me Semi-Old Fashioned: A Look at the Modern Dating Scene
My track record with dating is slim so I won’t speak for everyone. However, I’m semi-old fashioned when it comes to dating. For me, the way I see it, the guy verbally asks the lady out, picks her up (possibly with flowers), he opens the car door, you both dress nice, go to a restaurant or wherever said date will occur, have a good time, he takes you home, he may or may not go for the first kiss, and you go your separate ways. This is just my opinion. I’m perfectly okay with it being the other way around as well.
Modern dating is not like this. With modern dating, you can literally click on someone’s picture to show interest in that person and proceed to take it from there, which is better known as online dating. Courtship may or may not even happen. You can talk all the time and literally not go out on an actual date.
So, I looked at some of the thoughts and opinions on modern dating vs. old school dating. I’m only semi-old fashion because there are some things that I like about old school dating and some things that I like about modern dating.
When it comes to asking the person out, I prefer the old school way. You may or may not court that person for a long time but ask them out and plan an actual date. There’s nothing better than spending time with someone you like face to face. Some people think that dinner and a movie is a little outdated, but it depends on the person you are talking to. Make a little effort to see what the other person likes first. I’m not against talking to that person for a little while before going on the actual date, just make sure that you go on one. While you are on the date, talk to the person. Get to know them better. Don’t get on your phone, especially not on the first date. Both parties should give their undivided attention.
When it comes to paying for the date, I’m with modern dating on this one. I don’t think that a guy must pay for it. I’m okay with the splitting of the bill. You pay for your food and I pay for mine. But it’s always nice when a guy does decide to pay for it, hopefully, not expecting anything in return when he does it. Also, should he bring chocolates and flowers? Yes, please! However, it depends on who you are dating. Not all women are chocolate and flower kind of women.
Should a man or woman wait before making the phone call or with modern dating, text, after the first date? No, if you enjoyed the date and had a good time, I don’t see anything wrong with letting that person know. There is no time limit on this one. Also, talking on the phone is a must. Text messages are fine, but they don’t always get interpreted well. Also, it’s just nice to hear the voice of the person you like. I find it so much easier to talk with the person I like over the phone than through text messages. If something is misinterpreted, it takes seconds to get it corrected.
When it comes to sex on the first date, to each their own. Who am I to judge? If you want to have sex on the first date, then do you. Old school dating is waiting until marriage or until you’re in a committed relationship before having sex. Modern dating includes casual sex and friends with benefits. I personally tend to lean towards the old school on this one. I believe that dating should be taken seriously and I’m personally not a fan of the hookup culture.
Old school dating didn’t have all the social media that we have today. It was generally private. Their friends and their family knew. Old school dating didn’t need an audience. It was secure and confident in its own universe and it didn’t need to prove itself to anyone. With this one, to each their own. If want to broadcast your love to the world, then do it. If you prefer to keep it private, then keep it private.
One article that I read mentioned that playing hard to get is old school dating. I lean towards modern dating on this one. If you like someone, tell them. There’s no need to hide the fact that you are interested in someone. How else are you going to know if they are interested in you too? The same article mentioned that old school dating believed that if it’s love you’ll know straight away or better yet, they believed in love at first sight. Again, I’m with modern dating beliefs on this one. Love takes time to develop. You won’t always know at first. And if you do, that’s wonderful. I’m happy for you. The article said that modesty attracts when it came to old school dating, now confidence attracts.
Honestly, my thoughts are to just be yourself. Some people are genuinely modest while others are genuinely confident.
Don’t forget that dating is trial and error. You learn things along the way. Things change all the time and everyone is different. My views will differ from another’s. So, just have fun enjoy it.